You've Been A Dick Trophy (Sent Anonymously)
Has someone been a real dick lately? Of course they have. Isn't it time to let them know that. Of course it is. With this, we will anonymously mail them a trophy letting them know they've been a world champion dick.
Will this convince them to stop being a dick? Unlikely.
Will they think it is an award? Probably. Dick's are terrible like that.
That's why they're dicks and why you should send this to them.
By ordering this product, we will immediately dispatch a novelty trophy telling them that they are indeed a world champion dong.